After a couple of months of soul-searching for a thousand reasons as to why I should or should not have Major, my mind was finally made up one morning in June. However, before I continue, I suggest that anyone who has no time for anything to do with 'signs from above' should skip this section and move onto another one or I will be in danger of being dismissed as a middle-aged woman who has lost her marbles.
I had spent much of that weekend deliberating 'to have or not to have' and by the time I was ready to leave for work, it was the only thing filling my mind. I backed the car out of the garage and said aloud 'Jock, can you PLEASE tell me what I should do?' What happened next still makes me shiver asI would find it hard to believe if I had heard it from anyone else.
First, as I drove along the single track road, a complete rainbow formed across the sky. Rainbows are not unusual here but this was special because the same thing had happened the morning that Jock died. Then, as I was pondering this, a song came on the radio that was in my head a great deal around the time that I lost Jock. It was by Snow Patrol and the words of the chorus always reminded me of him:
'Light up, light up, as if you had a choice,
Even if you cannot hear my voice,
I'll be right beside you, dear'.
This made me quite emotional and I started to think he was answering my question. Then something else happened that convinced me there is more to life than can ever be explained. From the radio came a song that I had not heard played for years and one that is very special to me. It is 'These are the days of our lives' by Queen and the words mean a great deal to me. I was so overcome at this point that I had to pull over just to regain some control. I was convinced that this was a message. Jock was telling me to have Major.
With that, my mind was made up. No turning back.